Sunday, July 27, 2014

Slippery slope

I should be cleaning out my closet right now. Actually, it also involves unpacking. From a trip I got home from on July 10th. That's pretty bad. I am a reformed procrastinator, but every now and again, that part of my former self emerges, willful and proud. And defiant.

Today, I face the beast. Even before I went on the damn trip I went to bed bath and beyond in search of organizational salvation. I got a shoe shelf. I had already had a shoe shelf stuffed to three times max capacity, mostly with slippers. I am amassing quite an impressive collection of slippers. I can't seem to not buy slippers. At any rate, I had a dusty sad shelf that my 10 year old son used as a bench one day while playing hide and seek. I did not realize he sat on it, I thought maybe the weight of slippers and tom's and birkenstocks and other beautiful ,sexy footwear might have crushed it.

So, I opened up the box of the now dusty new shoe rack. For some odd reason, I assumed it would be a fold out type shelf, already assembled and ready to stick in the closet. I was sadly mistaken. Instead, out poured a bunch of metal rods, and weird shelf ends, and a bag of screws. And an instruction book. I had flashbacks of the ikea Poang chair. No. make it stop, no. That was not a memory I needed to revisit.

I can't read an instruction book without my glasses. So, I had to leave my messy room and come downstairs to get my glasses. And eat a large amount of watermelon. And check Facebook. And maybe play a game of candy crush. And just one cup of coffee.I think my rug needs to be vacuumed. And I need to go buy cold cuts for the upcoming week. Maybe I will call my mom.

I imagine living a stuff free life. In a small neat tidy space with only the bare essentials. How nice that would be. But then, I remember, the slippers. I am not sure I could part with my slippers. I am not sure I even have the energy to deal with sorting through all the crap I have accumulated in my 48 years on this earth.

I am going back upstairs. With my glasses. And a screwdriver. I will own you shoe shelf. You just watch yourself. Don't worry slippers, mama's building you a new house.

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