Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Bad manicures, and silver linings and gratitude.

Last Monday I got my nails done. Among my many neurosis and self defeating behaviors, biting my nails is at the top of the long list. So, in order to keep that demon at bay, I get manis. Feeling extra smug at the length of my lovely talons, I asked the lady to cut them. Apparently that was the beginning of my demise. She was a little over zealous, cut too much and possibly nicked the skin.

One week later, a thumb that looks as though it has been inflated like a balloon and feels like someone is repeatedly banging it with a hammer. It has woken me up the last two nights. If a thumb could scream, mine would be doing so at full blast right now. Sometimes I feel like my doctor internally rolls her eyes when I show up there. She is really nice and kind and a good listener, but I am just kind of filled with disgust over myself and my litany of odd problems. Once I convinced myself I had finger cancer because I had a weird lump on my index finger. I had an X-ray of my finger. Inconclusive, and I am still here with my finger. Once, one of hairs (from my head!) got stuck in my mouth and wrapped itself around one of my taste buds. It was there for a good 3 days or so and it hurt like you could not believe. I had to call up my dentist and tell them I needed help, but I was too mortified to tell them why. Luckily it dislodged itself before I had to go there and tell them I had no freaking idea why my hair was trying to kill me.

It turns out I have an infection in my finger. I feel so bad because all along I have been taking my thumb for granted. I had no idea how much I used it til now. Even typing this is excruciating. I am willing to suffer for my art though, I will carry on. I might not be able to make dinner though. I am going to warn my husband now that he might be foraging tonight.

It also turns out that I have now accomplished what I once thought impossible. I have reached my insurance co pay deductible. It is so high, and I think the joke is now on my insurance company, because I might actually be one of the first people to have that happen. I feel like I should go have some elective surgery or something, just to make it worth my while. I went to pick up my prescriptions today and there was no charge. Nothing makes me happier than free xanax.

If someone were to tag me in that gratitude thingy going around on Facebook, I would say I am thankful for:

My thumbs

Free pharmaceuticals

hair free taste buds

Not having finger cancer.

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