Oh Spikes

Spikes is at it again. I have never had a pet that is always appearing to have one foot at death's door. I don't know if it's just our bearded dragon or if that is the way it goes with these creatures but it's damn stressful.
After our last fiasco with spikes and his oozy sores on the side of his face, we were elated to see them healing and him returning back to his usual almost dead self. After a few weeks of no pooping, we gave him his bath, which seemed to do the trick. Yesterday, I noticed that his beard was black. It happens in adult male bearded dragons, when they are pissed off and/or stressed. Well, his beard is still black. Last night, I really truly thought we were going to lose him. He was not really moving and barely holding on to his log. He could not lift his head up.
He looks so unlively. I even sat with him, and put my face up to his face in his tank. I imagined it to be my own little pet hospice, I would help usher him into his next life. "It's ok Spikes", I telepathically communicated to him, "you can let go if you want, it's ok". He stared back, although it was impossible for me to gauge just what he was thinking. My son was understandably upset. My husband , always one to assign blame was peppering me with questions about what I was feeding him. That did not go over well.
I went to bed with a heavy heart, and also with the dread that I would discover spikes tits up in his tank in the morning. The logistics of that was not something I wanted to deal with. I asked my husband just what are we supposed to do with him, should he pass to the other side. He shrugged. I just did not want to be the one to have to deal with dead spikes.

We discussed taking him back to the vet. Honestly, and I know this might sound awful, but I just cannot afford another 200 dollar trip to the doctor, in which she can tell me that she does not know what is wrong with him and that he might possibly die. I already ascertained that. I also don't think a stressful car ride would help him at all. If he is pissed and or stressed right now, a car ride would just set him over the edge.

So, I google. I google some more. How many different permutations of "my bearded dragon is sick" can one come up with? A lot more than you think. I am trying to come up with explanations for this behavior. It could be the weather, it could be that the fly that was trapped in there by mistake the other day drove him insane, it could be an impacted intestine, it could be nothing, it could be the end.

I think after this, I am done with pets. I can barely deal with keeping the human I created alive and happy. And he lets me know on the daily what he needs and what hurts him. Which reminds me, I must go see if our beta fish is alive.